If I Don't Get 451 Likes on This, I Quit

A story of pro-trans writing so bad it's offensive

• Introduction and Inspiration

• The Urinary Leash

• The Worst Article Ever

• Why This Argument is Stupid

• Male Privilege Rears Its Ugly Head Yet Again

• Thoughts and Closing

---

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Trigger Warning: Major TERFage, run-on sentences, lazy punctuation ‘skills’, and unnecessary curses (as always), oh, and I’m mean.

Introduction and Inspiration

I wouldn’t say I’m a great writer. I also wouldn’t say that I make important points that no one else has made. I can’t claim to even be a very good feminist, because I have so much more to learn.

AND YET

I deserve more love than the author of the piece of trash I present to you today. I swear to you that I did not start this Substack to mock people. They just make me do it by virtue of being themselves.

I was introducing the concept of the “urinary leash” to my partner and I thought I would do a quick look online for supporting facts that might be of interest. Instead of finding something helpful in the top results, I found one of the worst pieces of writing I’ve seen in a while, especially considering how many people have taken the time to click a little button saying they “liked” it.

I thought I’d take a quick respite from more serious publications to show my audience some of what passes for not only acceptable, but exemplary, writing and insight in the trans community. We all need a laugh sometimes.

I suggest you read the piece in question before continuing. It is extremely short.

The Urinary Leash

I’m not an expert on this topic, but I should attempt to introduce it well enough to allow the unfamiliar to have some idea of what we’re discussing.

The “urinary leash” is a metaphor used to describe the ways in which women’s bodily autonomy has been controlled, particularly regarding basic bodily functions such as urination and menstruation. This concept highlights how societal norms, public infrastructure, cultural expectations, and the law have historically restricted women’s freedom by forcing them to conform to rigid schedules, limited mobility, and etiquette around their bodies.

Basically, without facilities for their use, women’s ability to stray from the home was highly limited. You can only travel so far before you’re too far from a toilet or menstrual supplies, and etiquette necessitates a level of privacy only found in the home.

This is just one reason why a woman’s right to single-sex restrooms is important. Modern women take our ability to relieve ourselves for granted; but it has never been a given. Without access to safe and private facilities, women cannot move through the world freely. They cannot participate in society. Access to public restrooms allowed women to begin to move out of the household and into the wider world. I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to give up what brave women have fought for so that entitled men can be “affirmed”.

The Worst Article Ever

Maybe I should apologize. You probably have better things to do than consider the uneducated, unsupported opinions of someone who has every reason to say whatever it takes to be able to continue to act the way they’d like.

This is someone whose conclusion has come before the argument. As a trans-identified man, the author undermines his credibility by letting us know he is trans. We know that it is very, very likely that this person writes articles (I use that term very loosely) to promote their ability to continue using womanhood as a personal identity. He has no reason to present historical facts with any sort of veracity, because he is here to convince you that being “trans” is okay, and that gender critical women are conniving liars.

I won't tease someone for being “trans”, but I am not above mocking people for sucking at writing, despite not being the best of scribes myself. This is just sloppy. You couldn’t read through it once before clicking “publish”? Not only that, but you haven’t read it since then? I mean, this is humiliating.

This person used one source, which was a webpage.

When they ran up against a lack of information, instead of seeking out an additional source, simply stated:

So women campaigned for women’s toilets. Historic UK doesn’t note whether the suffragettes would have been happy to use men’s facilities if they were in order, and I will not speculate either way here.

“Historic UK” being the webpage in question.

I’ll speculate! NO. They would not have been happy to use men’s facilities, in order, or otherwise. You would know this if you were a woman.

Why This Argument is Stupid

It seems that the “author” of this “article” is suggesting that because women were fighting for access to existing male facilities in Victorian England, that it’s okay for him to use the ladies’ room in 2021. Those nasty “gender-criticals” are misrepresenting history in order to discriminate against him in our modern times.

And if “likes” are any indication, 450 people agree with him.

I don’t even have to know many details about what happened in Victorian England to explain why this is meaningless. Pathetically, you can’t even see the major flaws in your argument due to your male privilege and weak reasoning skills. (Uh oh, better not get outsmarted by a girl.)

Of course women aren’t going to ask for men to build them their own facilities all over the country because that would never, ever, fucking fly. There’s no point in asking because the answer was 122% no. Asking for access to existing facilities is a much easier first step, whether or not that is the ideal situation for women. You’ve got to crack a few eggs to make an omelette, where the eggs are innocent women and the omelette is the basic right to safe and private facilities. You don’t make headway in a movement only when you get exactly what you want, exactly how you want it. (Unless you’re trans, I guess.) Often, you take what you can get.

So, gender critical folks are “misrepresenting” the past by claiming that women were campaigning for their own facilities, rather than for the use of existing facilities. That’s the argument? Access to facilities for women necessarily means a separate, private area away from men. It is a requirement for our safety, privacy, and well-being.

What makes this worse is that the “evidence” of women campaigning for access to men’s toilets is the following (via Historical UK):

Then a second group emerged called the Union of Women’s Liberal and Radical Associations, which campaigned for working class women to have public toilets in Camden. In 1898 the members wrote to The Vestry in Camden for toilet access for women in the already existing men’s toilets.

He’s referring to one instance when a group of women wrote a request for access to existing men’s facilities, after attempts to have women’s facilities created were not succeeding.

Male Privilege Rears Its Ugly Head Yet Again

ONLY A FUCKING MAN WOULD USE ONE WEBPAGE TO TRY AND OUTSMART SUPER INTELLIGENT, WELL-EDUCATED WOMEN WHO ARE EXPERTS IN THEIR FIELD. This shit would be funny if it wasn’t so upsetting.

(To be clear, I don’t mean me. I mean other gender critical feminists.)

Who the actual fuck do you think you are? You didn’t even bother to pretend to put effort into it. Maybe that’s a part of being a man I’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing - accolades abound no matter what a shitty job you do.

You also completely forgot about menstruation. You addressed urination, but I think that is probably not the biggest issue when it comes to single-sex facilities. It’s crazy how many little ways your male privilege impacts your life, despite you being a “woman”.

And that’s not even beginning to address general issues of safety, privacy, modesty, etc.

Because this is supposed to be a lighthearted rant, I’m not going to delve into these heavy issues of violence and sexual assault. Instead, I’ll bring up another little problem you haven’t addressed - dresses. Can you imagine these women dragging their long skirts through puddles of piss several times every day? Then, they certainly can’t move all of it out of the way and still preserve their modesty, so more urine is going to get on their dresses as they try to relieve themselves. Oddly enough, you mentioned modern day devices that allow women to urinate while standing, while conceding they were not available then, you did forget that they can’t be used through a fucking dress. Women’s clothing is restrictive by nature.

Thoughts and Closing

I’d like to remind you once more: that piece of garbage was “liked” 450 times.

If I don’t get 451 likes on this rant, I quit.

I’m kidding. I don’t even have that many subscribers! This is just a fun example of how people will lap up complete detritus with glee as long as it fits their narrative. If I were in this for the money, I would definitely make sure I’m pro-trans.¹ I wouldn’t have to do any research. I could avoid all true effort. I could be lavished with praise and affirmation for so little. I could, but I wouldn’t. There is far too much at stake - and for more people than just women and girls.

Until next time, stay guilty of thought crimes!

MadFem XX

1. That sounds familiar…