What About Her?: Who Trans-Allied "Feminism" Hurts

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

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Trigger Warning: meanie-face TERF being mean, creative use of colons, inconvenient truths, and unnecessary curses, as always.

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Contents:

• Introduction and Inspiration

• Dearest Sisters of Limited Foresight

• Victims of Male Violence and Rape

• (Real) Lesbians

• Athletes

• Mothers and Obstetricians

• Children and Teens

• Bonus Question

• The Inconvenient Truth

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Introduction and Inspiration

As you might imagine, I've been called a transphobe and bigot more than once. I've been told to “get over myself” when posting about the oppression of women and the role of trans-identified men in our erasure. (Because I'm the only woman who exists, I suppose.) I've been chewed out by women half my age who, quite frankly, don't know anything about transgenderism but are practically drowning in self righteous overconfidence.

That humble pie is still cooling on the windowsill, but it will be ready soon enough.

Speaking of pie¹, far too many women see nothing wrong with supporting the behavior of trans-identified men. “It isn't pie”, they'll exclaim while stealing the forks from our mouths. How does it impact you, anyway?

Today, for the sake of argument, let us pretend that transgenderism has zero impact on me and my life. If you don't give a fuck about me, perhaps you will find it within yourself to find the littlest consideration for the women whose situations you will find below.

Please keep in mind that we make up over half of the population. The number of women negatively impacted by the behavior of trans-identified men is considerable - far exceeding the number of trans-identified men who exist.

Remember: silence is not consent.

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Dearest Sisters of Limited Foresight,

Hello again, ladies. I told you I'd be back.

Advice for Trans-Allied "Feminists"

There are so many of you on Substack! Maybe someone who didn't block me out of confused principle will read this and earnestly consider what I have to say. This is for you. Congratulations on your bravery and capacity to reason. These qualities are growing increasingly difficult to find and you're basically a unicorn. Rock on, pointy-horse.

To the rest of you ladies, these are some of the people I’m fighting for while you are siding with trans-identified men. For each scenario, I want to know: what do you say to her? What is your response to each situation? What advice would you offer these women?

Just one more task for you: as you read through the experiences, ask yourself if it is possible for someone who truly prioritizes the equity and the advancement of women (a feminist) to choose a small group of men over her sisters. (Hint: the answer is no.)

I've selected several examples of women and girls who are victims of transgenderism in some way and grouped them by category. Each section describes for us a few people I would like for you to consider, followed by whatever yapping I feel the need to do.

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Victims of Male Violence and Rape

• The victim of sexual assault or rape who no longer works out at the gym because she can’t guarantee a safe space free from male bodies

• A rape victim being compelled to call her male perpetrator “she” in reports and judicial hearings

• The woman unwilling to seek out a shelter for abused women because men may be present (and the shelter isn't unlikely to be dishonest about their presence).

What do you say to these women? My best buddy, Judith Butler, thinks they all need to get over it because their trauma is inconvenient for these men. They need to work through their apparent fear of the penis and their suspicions that “they are really men” before they are welcome to use essential facilities.

Judith Butler Wants You to Suck It Up

Personally, I don't think it's cool to pressure female victims of rape to share intimate spaces with men, whether or not they are wearing lipstick. It's sick to gaslight this vulnerable population into believing there are some men who are automatically “safe” because they say so. (In fact, they aren't men like the one who raped you. They're actually women inside.) I still can't get over how many of you are supporting this stance, knowingly or not. It's incredibly insensitive, and frankly, fucked up.

I have a particular sympathy for women who are compelled to call their rapists “she” in legal proceedings under threat of litigation. If you think this shit is okay, you're missing some sort of component required to produce basic human empathy. Stay the hell away from me.

As single-sex facilities and female only programs and shelters disappear, the vast majority of women negatively impacted are going to do what they've been conditioned to do: take on the burden and inconvenience silently.

Every time you call one of us a bigot, a fascist, or a TERF, you are both silencing the woman in question and others who witness what sort of treatment the gender critical seem to deserve.

Put simply:

You are silencing vulnerable women who need your help. You are telling them that any attempt to establish and maintain boundaries is prejudiced behavior. You are, knowingly or not, telling them to shut up and stay home.

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(Real) Lesbians

• The woman who will never find a date because the apps for lesbians are now full of men

• The confused teen who struggles with her “genital preference” and believes her lesbianism is discrimination

• The lesbian who is pressured into sleeping with a trans-identified man (rape by coercion)

What do you say to the lesbians impacted by the ever-growing influence of transgenderism in the Western world?

Lesbians have penises too? You're a disgusting bigot for not giving men a chance? Oh! How about something along the lines of how dare you think you don't owe men sex just because you aren't sexually attracted to them?

Basic human biology is not “judging”.

“Cisbians using ‘I’m just not attracted to penises’. [Except] no one is attracted to penises. No one is attracted to vaginas. No one is attracted to genitals. You’re attracted to a person.

When you first see someone[,] you’re attracted to them as a person. You don’t know what genitals they have, implying you can tell a trans person from a cis person is cissexist and would force you to admit you are attracted to trans people before you find out they’re trans.

So ask yourself why you’d be attracted to a trans person until you find out they’re trans or what [genitals] they have[.]

Hint: It’s because you’re a sad little transmisogynist and you deserve to have your teeth beaten in.”

Regular readers are likely aware that this topic is a particular sticking point for me. Lesbians have it bad enough without men leaving them no place to congregate free from dicks.

I myself am not a lesbian, but from over here it seems that these so-called “women” feel entitled to sex in the same way that so many men do. I wonder why that might be.

So, transphilic ladies, do lesbians owe men entry to their private woman-only spaces? Are heterosexual men who claim a transgender identity entitled to the lesbian dating pool, and more directly, sex? Should we continue to shut down woman-only events when they maintain reasonable boundaries by excluding “trans women”?

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Athletes

• The girl in 11th place who trained for months or years only to be bumped out of the top ten (plus the opportunities it may bring) by someone with significant physical advantages

• The MMA fighter² severely outmatched by a man when she walked away with a fractured orbital bone, a concussion, and a need for staples in her scalp

• The wrestling student who was made to wrestle a male against her knowledge only to have him use his hand to penetrate her vagina mid-match³

• The volleyball player given a concussion by a male participating in the sport with no recourse of any kind.⁴

What do you say to all of the girls and women who have had their opportunities ruined and dreams quashed because they were made to compete with a male who has many physical advantages?

Because we are more than men with less testosterone, we cannot mitigate all relevant sexual dimorphism in order to fairly allow trans-identified men to compete with women. Despite well established medical fact, people are now feigning ignorance about the differences in the sexes in order to put women and girls at a disadvantage.

Ladies, what do you say to the athletes who have been shown time and again that one male is more important than an entire team of females? Anticipate more fractured bones and concussions? Forfeit and give up sports?

Train harder?

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Mothers and Obstetricians

• The woman participating in a mother’s group post miscarriage who has to share the space with a man who simulated a pregnancy and “miscarriage” of his own

• The breastfeeding expert fired for refusing to lie about the science of lactation when a man joins her breastfeeding group⁵

• The woman too afraid to ask for another member of staff when a man claiming to be female is her nurse or doctor

This is where things get extra fucked up and dystopian. What do you say to the women living through the difficulties of motherhood or struggling with a miscarriage when a man pretending to have lost his own baby in pregnancy wants to play along? (Yes, this has happened.)

How do you feel about women who resist attempts from men to “breastfeed” their babies with their freshly grown boobies and a chemical cocktail to induce lactation?

I'm waiting to hear someone from the back shouting, “His pain and grief is real even though his baby wasn't. Shouldn't he have a space to work through such problems?”

Fuck off. He needs to work through this problem in therapy. Women are not emotional support animals or free therapists for confused and narcissistic men. Motherhood groups are meant to cater to mothers with real problems, not serve as role-playing groups for men with false bellies.

What do you say to women, like me, who are incredibly uncomfortable with strange men touching me, especially in intimate medical settings?

Suck it up, buttercup? Stop receiving medical care? Your trauma is prejudice and we will not take it into consideration?

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Children and Teens

• A young woman deeply regrets her double mastectomy (for the rest of her life)

• A child who follows the path of transition for her body dysmorphia cannot seem to “accept herself” so she attempts suicide

• A teen rendered sterile from hormones and puberty blockers begins to grasp the loss she will feel because she’d like to have children of her own

My area of interest is generally the impact of male transgenderism on woman. There are dozens of reasons why this ideology is dangerous and tragic for children and teens that I am not mentioning, and not for lack of consequence. Please keep that in mind.

I've seen several accounts from young women devastated by the damage they've done to their bodies in the name of transitioning. There are an increasing number of people in their late teens and twenties waking up to the realization that they've made a major mistake with no recourse. Their accounts are absolutely heartbreaking to read.

What do you say to the young ladies who regret removing their breasts, having “bottom surgery”, or irreparably damaging their health and possibly fertility for life?

Too bad, so sad? Sucks to suck? Life is easier as a man so stop bitching? You're an adult now because you're eighteen so live with your “adult decision” like a grown-up?

I'm not sure how you feel, dear reader, but if it is anything like the statements above, you need to complete a serious inventory of your morals.

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Bonus Question

This scenario does not fit into any of the above categories, but it involves a group of women who have been completely disregarded by society:

• The religious woman who can no longer use public facilities due to restrictions about modesty

There are any number of religions and methods of practicing religion that limit contact with the opposite sex. To those already living under religious restriction (willingly or otherwise), what do you say?

Stay home is the message as of now.

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The Inconvenient Truth

Listen: you cannot be a feminist and trans apologist at the same time. Full stop. The interests of trans-identified men and women are thoroughly opposed, meaning that if you support the dudes in question, you are contributing to harm inflicted upon women (who are the focus of feminism).

Remaining ignorant out of concern that your beliefs might be challenged is no better than doing the research and taking no action. You are still guilty of supporting the erasure of women we are witnessing. At the very least, putting women in the position that transgenderism currently demands is very unfeminist behavior.

What makes this all the worse for those of us who would love to “just get along” with people is that due to the nature of this conflict, intellectually honest observers will recognize that they must choose only one: trans-identified men or women.

It might sound crazy, but if you don't choose women, you aren't a feminist.

Until next time, stay guilty of thought crimes!

MadFem XX

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1. What kind of pie do you like? I'm particularly into strawberry rhubarb pie and peach pie.

2. Tamikka Brents (against Boyd Burton aka Fallon Fox)

3. Kallie Keeler of Washington, Story via Reduxx

4. Example via Reduxx

Payton McNabb Bio

5. UN Alert Over Breastfeeding Case (Australia)